It might be funny the first time around
by Leuny
Summary: Lego Heroica. The Rogue and the Wizard were on a quest, racing against the time to free the kidnapped king and collect the reward. Who will win? Weeeell, all I can say is that once the Wizard gets a hold of the Sceptre of Summoning, shenanigans are bound to ensue... Written in collaboration with my datemate.


_**It might be funny the first time around…**_

 **Disclaimer** : Lego Heroica does not belong to me. I've just gotten inspired by the first time I managed to play it, that's all~

" _The most important reason for going from one place to another is to see what's in between, and they took great pleasure in doing just that."_

~Norton Juster _(The Phantom Tollbooth_ )

His breath and his light-footed steps were all he heard as he ran through the hallways of the castle of Fortaan. According to the map, the two keys wouldn't be far now. He'd already defeated quite a few of those Goblin Guardians that roamed the place, shrinking them and placing them in his inventory for later, after his quest was done. Like this, he'd already stored the Goblin General, the Dark Druid, several spiders as well as any Goblin Warriors that he'd come across on his journey.

The Rogue exited the chamber he'd had to cross through and came upon a bridge. Water was running directly below. Ah, there was another one of those Goblin Warriors on the other side of it. He had to be sneaky now. Running stealthily across the drawbridge, the Rogue readied his dagger. With one hit, he managed to defeat the enemy soldier and was able to successfully add him to his inventory. Good. Now all that's missing would be-

All of a sudden, there was a loud noise. Smoke came up right in front of him, forming into a figure faster than he could blink. Dread curled in his stomach as his eyes landed on the Goblin General that he'd defeated several hours before. How could he have escaped? The walls felt like they were closing in on him.

The Goblin General didn't leave him any time to think, charging at him with full force and a battle cry that the Rogue hadn't thought he'd hear again. With a quick step back, he parried the blow with his dagger and turned his weapon – faithful companion that it was – upwards, having the General's sword follow. Once he'd managed to free his weapon – the Goblin General had pulled his sword back in order to gain the upper hand again – he ducked down below and landed a hit that had the General see stars.

Defeated, the enemy general was added to his inventory and the Rogue could breathe again. Phew. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw something shiny. A gold piece! It must have fallen out of the General's pockets during the fight. In a much better mood now that the threat was vanquished, the Rogue picked it up. Right. And now he had to get back on track.

Turning into the direction that he should be going, he saw another gold piece that glimmered in the semi-darkness that enveloped the place. Woah. This much gold, all in one place? Lady Luck must be smiling upon him. Grinning, he went to pick that piece up, too. Okay. And now he could finally look for the keys, right? An interesting smell distracted him. What was that?

Opening his eyes – when had he closed them? – he tried to figure out the source of the smell. It smelled like… something was being grilled? Ham, maybe? In this place? With raised eyebrows, he let his nose dictate the way his feet would be taking next. When he reached the chamber adjacent to the one he'd just defeated the Goblin General in, he couldn't quite believe his eyes.

"Ham?" he said, somewhat disbelievingly. For on the other side of the chamber, a piece of ham was laying on a tray as tough it had been prepared for someone? The ham looked good. A table was the centrepiece of the room, around which were placed a few chairs. On the table, he could make out something silver. Approaching it hesitantly, always prepared for traps and other such niceties, the Rogue tried to be as aware of his surroundings as he could be. Nothing jumped out at him or attempted to attack him, though, which was… highly unusual, given his current situation.

The enemy soldiers and generals wouldn't have kidnapped the king if they weren't prepared to guard him, would they? Hand closing tightly around his trusted dagger, the Rogue arrived at the table and snatched up the key that was upon it with one quick swish of his hand. Nothing happened. The ham looked delicious.

"A key, huh?" he wondered to himself. Scrutinizing the rest of the room, he came to the conclusion that a) his time was running out – the Wizard had to be at the castle by now, he'd catch up and might overtake him soon and then he wouldn't get any money for freeing the king. And b) there wasn't anything else in there, apart from the delicious ham and its scent that was calling him and… oh, where was he going with this? Ah, yeah, he had to leave or he wouldn't make it on time.

Just as he was turning to get out of the room, smoke curled directly in front of him, forming into the Goblin General, once again.

"Oh, not you again." He rolled his eyes. Readying his stance, he put the key into his inventory and the dagger out in one motion before charging at his opponent, not even giving the smoke enough time to dissipate. With one hit, the enemy went down. Sighing, he put him back into his inventory.

"Do I need to make bars for you? Is it even possible to make bars around one's inventory?" Scrunching up his forehead in thought, he patted himself down to chase away any smoke residue on his black clothes and looked back once more. The dagger was put in his hand, the inventory patted down as well to make sure nothing would escape it – he'd have to keep an eye on that one – and he rounded the table once more, trying to see if there was anything valuable he'd overlooked. After all, the Goblin General didn't manifest again without reason, right?

Then, he left the room. There was no ham on the plate anymore.

 _Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer_

Getting back over the drawbridge to go into the main part of the castle of Nathuz had been a piece of cake, all in all. Still, it would have been nicer had he not had to fight against the Goblin General every ten feet or so. That one enemy of his turned out to have a knack for escaping his inventory.

Bad enough that he had to deal with him once in order to get to that artefact. Twice he could even understand, what with the inventory malfunctioning sometimes. He drew the line at a dozen times, however. That had not seemed possible, however he'd lost count at 12 times that the Goblin General had thrown himself into his way. Seriously? A dozen times? It had to be closer to three dozen times that he'd had to fight the weirdly reappearing enemy by now – at least, it felt like that.

With the enemy vanquished once more, he was finally able to insert the key into the gate's keyhole that would hopefully lead him into the midst of the castle, giving him access to the next artefact, whatever that would turn out to be. He already possessed the chalice and the Goblin General's artefact. One more couldn't hurt, in his humble opinion. Glancing at his back, he opened the door slowly. It would figure if the Goblin General appeared just as he was about to enter the castle bowels, with his back wide open for attack. Nothing happened, however.

Suppressing another sigh (how many had it been by then? He lost count long ago, probably around the twelfth time the Goblin General had reappeared), the Rogue crossed the threshold. And stopped.

For directly in front of him, floating in the air, was the figure of none other than the Dark Druid. That… no. His mind staggered to a halt. Just how permeable was his inventory these days?!

Grinding his teeth, he readied his dagger.

 _Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer_

And really, it just figured that the Wizard managed to grab the finder's reward for the hidden artefacts as well as any defeated enemies, seeing as he'd been the one to defeat the Dark Druid when the Rogue had fumbled his dagger that one time, after he'd already vanquished the hooded figure thrice. Funny how thereafter, the Dark Druid hadn't reappeared once. Still, he couldn't complain, seeing as he'd been busy fending off the Goblin General multiple times, still. Truth be told, it was no wonder he'd been just about on time to free the king.

As for right at that moment, he craved a bed, a hot meal and some rest. The next morning, he'd need all his energy to make an imposing figure, striding down the street right towards the smithy in order to shout down the blacksmith responsible for the travesty that was his inventory. It simply did not do for his enemies to escape his clutches all the time.

Also, he quite possibly needed someone to vent his anger at having his quest be interrupted by the nuisance that was the Goblin General. Yup, shouting down the smithy would do nicely, in order to get his head cleared of all this annoyance that had accumulated aaaaall throughout the trip through Fortaan.

 **AN :** Erm… sorry, Rogue? I am really curious about playing that character sometime in the future, but this time around my co-player was the unfortunate victim of some fun I had while trying to stop him from finishing the quest before moi… what can I say, I'm awesome at being annoying? * _cringes away from the spotlight_ *

As per usual, reviews are highly appreciated, dearest readers! Hope you had as much fun reading this as I had in writing it! Cheers!


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